Make Peace and Eat It

This pizza contains excellent ingredients and good dough and morels (yes morels!) and anchovies! (It was eaten mostly by coworker. I like cheese best.)

Cheese for me!! These pizzas were both the most delicious pizzas I've ever eaten, much less made.

I've been staying at Coworker's place on the weekends and I found this moth on the back door one night. It's a sphinx moth, can't remember the scientific name. But huge and beautiful!

Alien face.

So Coworker got an ailment and I went hiking all by me onesie. Which was ok. I hid from a moose (a more vicious beast cannot be found until the far reaches of the northern tundra reveals the horrible Polar Bear and its cousin the Kodiak). But the moose turned out to be a deer. Much like the West Yellowstone police report which went: "A moose was seen on highway 20. The moose turned out to be a deer and the deer turned out to be dead."

I slid, I fell, I climbed. I lost control on shale-shard slopes and gained enough speed to get a decent amount of air when launched by said speed and the seat of my pants over a little cliff. I landed on sharp things. I laughed. There was a little blood, but no tears.

I made bread. I kneaded it for thirty minutes and in that time formed a bond that made it that much tastier to eat. I steamed it in the oven to make french bread and I hacked off pieces of my loaves all week to eat with cheese. Chic, in a very wilderness kind of way.

And I got paid.

And all is well.

I have more freckles than a marble Buddha.

I think that's how you spell Buddha.

OOO, confession - one day of hardcore bushwacking and climbing lowered my fat reserves enough that I craved Burger King and could not control myself. First fast food eaten in about a year though. And I wanted to vomit.

Libby

I have to try

to learn a little Turkish.

It is difficult though.

I just landed in Istanbul today and there are no planned excursions until 4.45 this evening... AKA 16.45. This military time is insane.

I did not bring my computer with me so I will not be updating often.

k bye.

Oh my!

I had no idea. I actually have to leave the state on Thursday. It's a very good thing that I realized Friday was actually not the 19th of June.

Whew.

I've been shopping a lot lately, which I hate, not because I don't like shopping, but 1) because I feel guilty leaching all this cash from my Mom, and 2) because the money could be put to such better use... in Istanbul.

Seriously. My grandpa gave me 1,000 dollars towards my trip. How can you convey thanks for that? I mean, it was his tax return, but still. I don't think I ever got mine. Cursed filthy Republican administration/IRS bastards.

La la la











Anyway, so yeah. Istanbul by Orhan Pamuk is actually a lot better than I thought it would be. It did win the Nobel prize in literature, but I thought that didn't mean much when I started. It's been such a drag. But now that I'm almost done, I realize it's simple genius. You don't have to care about the individual experiences this man had while you're reading it. At some points you even think how ridiculous it is that he assumes you will care. But really, I don't think he assumes you will care. I think it is written as a way for him to expel the bile of his soul, his hüzün, his past, and his city, all in a way that is most easily understood when read as a private diary, stolen from a dresser drawer. This next chapter "First Love" is really great.

Sometimes I don't know if a warm feeling is coming from a certain social interaction or all of the wool I wear. That's confusing.

So I advise trying to be more sure about that, although you women are likely already in tune with that sort of thing.

And remember, grease is the word.

Liver Basket

I found a raven skull.

And a duck skull.

(This snake was singing "I Believe I Can Fly." It was quite touching. So I helped him fly (PPS. You can see a little prong of guts coming out of him. Very cool.). )

Fun in the Mountains with Libby. You can have some Too.

Life is lovely.



And snowy.



We went on our first field mission this week but it only lasted two days. It rained. It snowed. It even hailed. And the dusty dirt we had sped across the first day - sunny - soon became North Carolina red clay which stuck to our feet in uneven, heavy loads which enabled us to slide across (and down and up and over) it as if we were skiing. But with far more effort than skiing. As mud is a little bit thicker than snow. Or water.



I dug my first latrine hole. We had our first campfire. We slept in a tent under the rain and snow and it was lovely. I have a perfect coworker and even though he tends to forget things sometimes or make mistakes he accepts problems so well that I almost like working with him better for the mistakes. And anyway my pride requires that I at least be better at some things. Even if they only involve computers.



I am buying a car. And it is not a Civic. Apparently the demand for Civic's because of their reputation has driven up the cost. I am looking at Hyundai Alantra or something and something something something and something can't remember. But it will be manual. It will be under $140 a month. It will have a bike rack and a roof rack. For my kayak. (Big Mack)



And now I have to pee. Goodbye.

Just So You Know: Episode II

Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger. You may see a strangerrrrrr across a crowded room. And a-somehow you may know, you know even then that somewhere you'll see him/her again (and again).

Just thought i ought to let you know. You know, in case, you know... you hadn't... heard.

Okay, well among the many things I have to write are those thoughts that have been in my head for a while now.

1) Overpopulation

Besides being the cause of most of our problems here on Earth, it is also a point of personal anxiety. Is the choice of having children still a choice for all of us? I don't think it is. At the rate of our population growth, global warming will only increase and even if it didn't, we have enough water tied up in crops, animals, and people to make the idea of feeding twice our population with the same amount of water unimaginable. It's not going to happen. Something needs to be done. Free birth control everywhere? Voluntary sterilization for those who desire it? The Pill for men? Does that exist yet? Just one of the thoughts in there...

2) Impeachment buzz

Kucinich brought the impeachment procedure again to the front of our minds. Personally, I don't think G.W. is the one at the helm, so I don't really think his removal would be that much of an improvement. With Cheney at the wheel, all Muslims will be shot on sight! In the face!

3) Futility of politics

Even though I am excited about the possibility of Obama "restoring" America to it's once fabled glory (something I'd really like to see), it's not going to matter in the future. Look at it this way; We're constantly screaming to lower unemployment, reform Social Security, and better education, but these things don't happen. We're obsessed with the economy over most other things, even though WE created the economy, and now we are slaves to it. We should be focusing on making the planet inhabitable again, and, sorry to say, but that's not only going to be with solar panels.

4) The end of the world

Yeah, I guess it's got to end sometime. Why not sooner than later?

5) Stupidity of humanity in general

Sometimes I look at humans as though I am not one of them. I feel like an outsider. I feel like I do nothing normal by the standards of my age. Most of my social interactions lately involve me pretending to be involved and interested. And I am, to an extent. I mainly can't understand what we do to ourselves. Also, I can't imagine most other people having to think on this ridiculously universal level for the amount of time that I do. I hate it, but mainly because I feel alone in doing it. Not SOLITARY, but like the people I bump into on the street won't understand the depth of a sound of a footstep or understand that maybe they can't understand it. Golly!

So it's not been an incredibly cheerful few weeks, but I mean, what's the problem with that? If I were to imitate cheer in my daily life, a lot of people I don't care about might be a little more comfortable, and those I do care about would be watching movies anyway, so what's the problem? Besides, I don't want to try to cheer myself up. When I have moods I imagine they're there for a reason, and I don't really consider them moods anyway. Something like what I'm in I doubt will ever leave me. Yes, recede into the background, yes, sway a bit to one direction or another, yes, develop and update itself in episodes and editions, but not much. So far this sounds like a total fool, so that's all folks.

my new celebrity obsession

Hey cool kids! So, sorry I've not posted anything until just now. Here's what I feel are the main highlights of my summetime thus far:

• Movies: When I was back in Berea, I made a list of things I wanted to do this summer. Later that night, I lost it, never to be found again, but I remember one thing on there was to go see every movie I wanted to in theaters since I had been deprived of my normal movie-going experiences for the majority of last year. I've been four times to see two different movies (and those shenanigans have to come to an end because despite movies only being $4 or $5 here, I cannot afford that all summer). I saw Prince Caspian and Iron Man, the second being the source of my post title. Call me a conformist, if you will. I don't care what you say,though. As Tony Stark, Robert Downey, Jr. is both a bad ass and sexy as hell. The wallpaper for my laptop is currently from Iron Man. Mmmmmm... That is all I have to say on that matter.
• Piano: I began piano lessons about two and a half weeks ago, and I must admit that I've been very excited about it. So far (including today), there have only been two days that I haven't practiced since I first began, which may not seem like a huge deal for any of you, but in my thirteen years of playing instruments, I can't remember having practiced any instrument for more that three days in a row.
• Planning the Rest of College: I have decided that I want to double major in Spanish and sociology with a minor in peace and social justice studies. To do this, I'll be hella busy for the remainder of my years at Berea. I set up a tentative schedule that would allow me to still graduate in four years, but it also means I take summer classes and have 4.75-5.25 credits for each of my remaining semesters. In an email with my advisor, I mentioned possibly doing this in five years, but he advised against that, saying the school frowns upon people staying for five years. I can understand why, but it's not as though I would be staying for five years because I screwed around the first couple ones; a double major is a lot of work and can take time. What he suggested was that I stick with four years and sociology with a minor in Spanish, but he's just an advisor, meaning, I don't have to do what he says. I think I'll talk to some other profs and such when I get back in the fall and see what some other people have to say.

I guess those are the main things that are going on for me. For the regular, day-in-day-out kind of jazz, I've been enjoying the time spent with my sister, niece, and the rest of my family. I'll be vacationing with my aunt and uncle at Lake Erie from June 14-23, and then I plan on playing in Berea from the 25th to the 29th.

I hope all of you are safe and are enjoying your summers! I miss you dearly!

Copious amounts of love from your one and only,

Cocoa Goddess

Oh, Istanbul

People, I AM NOT THERE YET!

Also, I go to West Virginny on Thursday. Then Istanbul on the 19th/20th.

Just had to untangle the one knotted ignorance of the general blog. There ya go!

So I like watching trees blow.

There’s hope. It doesn’t cost a thing to smile.

1. 1. It is hot in South Carolina and I am in my parent’s empty house.
2. 2. India Arie and Tim McGraw are amazing artists (and David you agree whole Heartedly I can feel it from Turkey)
3. 3. I am moving up to DC on Sunday.
4. 4. I saw my Grandmother (mom’s mom) for the first time in like a year this weekend. It was wonderful
5. 5. Eeekkk… I got a hair cut on a whim today…. And I now have bangs. They will probably grow out by the time school starts don’t worry. But I kind of love them. Espically now that I have found and wear these huge sunglasses all the time.
6. 6. I have written two new poems and I like them both a lot
7. 7. I saw Erin. That’s right it was wonderful. Me and my little sister Carmel drove Elizabeth up to her internship on June 5^th and we drove back to South Carolina the next morning.
8. 8. We had a WONDERFUL adventure. Carmel and I drove and she read Harry Potter aloud to me. It was intense and when the Dark Lord was coming to the Malfoy Mansion I looked down and was doing 100 mph. No good. Then we stopped for lunch at the Beantree Café in Tennessee. Team we are so taking a weekend trip there next year before it gets cold. We waded in the river and then thought we needed to go rafting. Carmel, silly mortal, didn’t have her bathing suit. But it was okay that she didn’t in the end because they weren’t rafting that day. I made friends with one of the raft guides and he promised to take me the next time I’m there.
9. 9. Did I mention it was 105 degrees outside!!
10. 10. I got my reading from Mexico and it is kind of boring. I feel like a really bad student. But then again it is summer time.
11. 11. I miss ya’ll.
12. 12. I have a road rage problem. Today, I sort of lost it and flipped an ass hole the bird once he had gotten off my riding my back bumper. Then get this he was stopped right in front of me at a stop light. That’s where driving crazy prick gets you waiting for the light to turn. We were both turning left and when the left turn light went green he just waited till it turned yellow before he would turn. I had to wait for the next light. This is why I will never have Bahá’í Bumper stickers on my car.
13. 13. I have a great and wonderful idea for a business. I am going to start a plant nursery/coffee shop/and florist shop. It is going to be called Ridvan (which is an Arabic word for Paradise) The back is going to be a big courtyard with a tile floor and tons of plants. All of them will be on sail naturally. I’ll also rent out the back for weddings and high class parties. Also during the hot summer months I’ll pitch tents for people to drink coffee inside. But my winter business will be the coffee shop. I will need a greenhouse on my farm. There is much more to this plan the I’m sure any of you are interested in reading.
14. 14. I am wearing one of my father’s button down shirts and it smells like him even though it just came out off of the line. The smell makes me feel like everything is going to be alright.
15. 15. I love my mother. And I’m glad not to be on Accutain anymore.

Idea

I think we should post our summer addresses. So I can send you nifty rocks and bits of elk bone and whatnot. Ok.

Epic Cocoa!!!

1. Beef Case

2. Sausage Wallet

3. Chicken Satchel


These were the topics of conversation (and various "inside" jokes) between my coworker and myself. If you remember my speculations on this person - based on the fact that he is named Jason - suffice to say I was far, far off the mark.

I also forgot to mention last time that I am officially driving an official vehicle. No kidding kids. The license plates say "U.S. Government - Official Use Only" and it makes me very happy to have my snot-nosed nappy-headed self at the wheel of such an auspicious "rig." However, Jason and I were forced to attend a FS "defensive driving" class yesterday. If you've never been forced to attend a class like this they can devolve to the point of playing charades in your chairs, pretending to react to a deer on the road, or a flash flood, or a psychotic passenger attempting to butcher you with a rusty coathanger. Really. I lie not. Fortunately this one was short as it was a series of "orientation" seminars for the seasonals. We smugly left after the two hour bit on driving and those watching us leave wept openly.

More on Jason - quite possibly THE ideal person to be doing this job with. No danger of any of a variety of hanky-panky or piddledy-diddledy or awkwardness or eagerness or nothingness. Seriously. We will get along great and I am SO relieved about that. It could have been a horrible summer if he had turned out to be anyone else. Speaking of anyone else. There are two men from the Czech Republic in the house behind mine and they can't understand anything I say because I talk too fast. But I love them like puppies. And their housemate builds ships? Or at least has the most beautiful kayak I have ever seen in my life. And a young couple of 23 lives in a cabin at Cottonwood and I hate/love them because they are perfect to be together. Not in an "I'm so going to barf all over you if you don't STOP IT!" kind of way, but because they like to be outdoors, they like to kayak, they like to hike....they like everything they both do, and they both like doing it together. Bastards!

And speaking of bastards Dustin is officially a bastard. And I am officially depressed about that. And other bastards. And all bastards. Speaking of which, there is a plant called a "bastard toadwort" which I learned about this morning. I am taking a crash course in taxonomy and botany and soaking it all up like the unrecognized genius I used to speculate (in high school) that I was. I am. Smug.

And I discovered the Snake. Which is a river. Which lives down my driveway and across the road from my house. Love it. Cold though.

Love you too.

Libby

If I were going to own a cat, I would name it Idget.

Oy.

I have had a very busy last couple of days.

Adam came up Saturday night and left this morning- the second was our two-year mark(ish), so it was nice to just be together and relax. We played video games in Woods-Penn, went bowling (I scored 80 and 98), ate A LOT, made delicious oatmeal raisin cookies, saw two movies (Sex and the City and Prince Caspian) and petted lots of kittens. It was a happy time.

I started my internship officially on Monday, although I've only had meetings. I've been feeling a little silly at these meetings- not fully understanding everything and not being able to contribute- I don't know near as much about design as the rest of the crew. Today, however, I met with one of the homeowners and Phil (other intern) and we had sketches of the earthbag home and such- I understood and talked and now I need to type some stuff out and send it out to the rest of the group. I'm feeling useful, finally. I also know exactly what tools I need to buy, which is an exciting thing. Shopping! (You can keep up to date with my internship on my blog for my folks back at home on this site.)

I think Ruhiyyih is coming to see me tomorrow. I must call her back...

All of your plants are still alive so far.

I have fallen in love with the SENS house gardens. I'm very anxious about tomatoes and summer squash coming in. I picked a head of broccoli the other day and enjoyed that thoroughly. I also picked flowers (there are so many poppies here!) and decorated a little. (You can keep track of my eating habits, kinda, at this site.)

Just a technical thing- If you guys want e-mails when someone posts something or comments, let me know. I have the capability to have this thing automatically e-mail you. I am very god-like.

My bangs are poofy.

A man

gave me a cup of coffee just now because I hadn't bought one.

It tastes horrible, but I am drinking it anyway.

And now I am writing and telling you all about it.

Yesterday I wrote a couple letters, one of which I have yet to send. This is why I know I'll be home before 3.

I wrote in my Istanbul journal a few times. It's mostly crap.

I don't think I'll be able to pull off the creative thing this summer. Any kind of creation I see, writing, movies, photography, paintings... it all just looks like predigested cud. Perhaps this is because of my own constant rumination, but I can't see worth in it. Oops!

Okay, bye.

would God like that?

probably not.

Greetings from the woods…

That’s right I have returned to the peace, have returned to a life without a schedule, I officially looked at a clock about twice today. I have had 3 cups of really good Persian tea and am really pretty much in heaven.

As some of you know already, I paternal grandmother fell a few weeks ago and fractured her right knee. She is completely layed up and is confined to a wheelchair, well really her recliner in the living room. This is the woman who is use to feeding a household of 10-20 depending on who was staying over for a few weeks. She was also the first woman to sit on South Carolina’s Board of Chiropractic. Needless to say she is fiercely independent and values her mobility. So I know my folks have moved in here to take care of her. My dad, little did I know, closed his office in Greenville (the closest thing to a city in upstate South Carolina, about a two hour drive from their house in Clemson). My mom is in the middle of her practicum for her counseling degree and is also taking a full load of summer classes. My little sister Carmel (13) is homeschooled and has been staying home with Grandmother for the past couple of days. She is the one who is heading off to Detroit to dance with American Ballet Theater. Rebecca (17) is still in school and her year doesn’t end till June 4^th or so (poor poor soul). But her best friend Olivia has been living with my folks too for the summer. Olivia’s parents just had a very painful divorce and Olivia is struggling to make sense of herself and her new life. My parents, Olivia, Rebecca, and Olivia’s folks got together and consulted and they decided that Olivia needed some extra help, love and support so, she better move in with the Young’s for a while. It seems to be working out really well for all parties involved.

Now that you my loves have a bit of background you should know why I am ridiculous happy as I write. The house that my grandparent’s built is in the middle of the woods in Easley South Carolina. It is three stories high and all wood. It has high ceilings and lots of skylights. It has big wood stoves and lots of windows. I slept on the third floor last night right under a window and four skylights. As the sun started to warm my face as it came up this morning. I opened my eyes and all I saw was the brilliant green color of sunlight though a canopy of big green poplar trees. I just sighed and knew I was in the woods and my family was all around me and there were no cars going by and no E-mail to check, and no rehearsals, and no homework to finish. Another sigh and it felt like it was going to be alright.

I got up and fixed breakfast then the day got started with a washing of my big silly Labrador Retriever Zoey! I have had Zoey for 10 years. We grew up together what can I say, she is basically the best dog a girl can ask for. She gave me one litter of puppies when I was in seventh grade, five girls and one boy (figures). Zoey is now old and getting really fat and sluggish and needless to say living in doggie heaven after her brief stay in purgatory at my parent’s city home. She moved out to my grandparent’s house two days after my grandfather passed (last October). Well, Zoey got a bath this morning and a comb once all 75 lbs of her dried out. I cleaned the bathroom. Then we had some lunch grandmother, Carmel, and I. Then grandmother and I sat out on the porch and I read out loud to her. My grandmother is a brilliant painter and sculptor. She is also a diabetic. She started to lose her sight when I was about half way through high school. She now can only see light, dark, colors, but can still kind of read with huge glasses. So this afternoon on the porch I got to read out loud to her.

Then she mentioned that some tomatoes needed to get into the ground. Much to my bliss I found big compost pile, lime, and everything I could possibly want to do any and all gardening tasks over the next two weeks. I got to pull weeks and cultivate some soil for a few hours before Carmel went to the studio to take a much deserved Ballet class. Grandmother loves horror movies and is a CSI fanatic. So we spent a few hours watching some disturbing nonsense on the TV. In all honesty I think we were both very much asleep. Then I made some dinner and daddy came home.

I don’t have internet connection here but I think I might go into town tomorrow to post this and book some plane tickets. But I have a lot on my mind right now and taking care of my beloved grandmother and working the earth is exactly what I need before facing the big city for two months. I love you all so very much and can’t wait to read about all of your adventures! You are in my thoughts and prayers all the time.

Love and light,

Ruhiyyih

May 27, 2008